WHAT do you think of this introduction………is it ok?
As another day drew to an end and the sun settled to sleep, Cristina Kahlo found herself reminiscing [although not tearfully] about her childhood. Early memories had been unintentionally erased, only to be replaced with more memories and thoughts. Carefully, she glanced up at the early evening autumnal sky, her artistic mind appreciating the pastel shades of the ceramic sun contesting sharply with the expanse of empty azure canvas.
The sudden sound of steps broke her out of her reverie, followed by a sudden twinge of pain in her head, which brought her back to her fading senses.
“Time for your nap now don’t you think?”
Cristina did not reply, yet glanced down at the yellowing page of paper that she had busily been writing on, before the interruption from the plump nurse. ……..
yeah that’s it so far! any feedback is much appreciated… X
i think it’s really good. The details and figurative language is very good. I’m only a bit confused about the “nap” but that is probably because you’re not done. And also, the [] don’t seem to fit. you should use commas or something else because the [] make it look more amateur than it actually is. Very good, though. i enjoyed reading it!
Porcelain Veneer Lab – Grace Sun DDS, Los Angeles
